No more Bride

“Today is your Marriage”,My mother was happy and my father,maybe.Flowers loved me in the white gown.Air in the hall complimented me.I looked beautiful,more.Girls were jealous of me.

I saw him passing through rows of flowerpot.It was my marriage day.And he was here; here in my marriage.My heart wasn’t in normal state.Face made expressions that didn’t resemble the  heart.

I saw him looking towards me.....Year’s ago we lived together.He loved me and I too.

We had a little house built full of dreams.Dreams were all mine.I dreamt and he promised to turn it into reality.

One night while I was asleep,he left me all alone to be shattered, to only find the note he left,”I’m leaving you”.

No talks.No arguments.No reasons.

I was in solitude without my love.I waited  in hope that he will return.Hours turned into days and days in to weeks.But he never showed up."He left me.....why?”.

“why?”Reasons were what i wanted.But i was always stucked in... , “why?”

I tried to move on.So, i did, but just to conceal the pain.

I saw him looking towards us.He had a smile in his face.Smile that maybe of sorry or maybe that of happiness.When I walked with my groom in the hallway.I saw him walking away.

Tears nomore could be controlled.It finally rolled down and rained.I took my hand off the groom arm.Ran towards him.Searched him everywhere,outside.

I Saw him walking the lonely path.Ran towards him and stopped.I raised my hand and touched him on his shoulder,gently.He turned.He saw me.

"Hello ,who is there?”.He didn’t recognize me.

I couldn’t respond him.I was lost too,couldn’t even utter a word.

He felt something fell on his shoulder.

“...oh...what i’m thinking.. never”,he said to himself,with lips movement that i could only fathom.He shook his head in gentle negation and an unmarked smile raised on his cheek.

And he followed,his, the very same path.

Dead Promise

Lots of things are strange to everyone.Like Unknown person,alien road , nameless place;

But one thing that I have known more in my life.

Is the death,

Unknown ,mysterious but a truth of life.I don’t want to ponder or run like insane, thinking...

Why is it  so known yet Unknown.I don’t want to reason or compare the  pain

I don’t want to question, why her? I can’t drop the tears for her no-more.

As tears have lost its stream.And wanders in search of its faded-persona,

Since, She left I have grown weak.It’s being one week.

Food no-more feeds me.Water no-more quench my thirst.

I’m sick & my body attest for  it.I don’t need any medical assistance.

What I need is to be with her.Once I had promised to her.

To travel to God-place bare foot.And pray to God for the longevity of our relation.

And to be always with her.While, she was alive,I didn’t go to pray

But now,when she is not with me.I’m in the mid-way to reach the God-place.

I can’t walk, my leg has become numb.I am dragging my body.And rolling my body over when I can’t drag any more.I can see the red blood that flows from the numerous cuts.I can’t count them.My vision has become feeble.

My attire is torn and full of dust.And  has become wet,with the blood that flowed from my wounds.I can see the steps of stairs & the legs of people walking over it.It’s crowded.

It’s  afternoon, sun is above  the head.I can feel the heat of sun through my wounds.

I need to climb those stairs before I die.I don’t see the space where I can drag and reach the God-place.It hurts when people steps over the wounds.But I don’t care.

I just have to reach the God-place before I die.And fulfil her last wish.

Ahh...! 
I can see her,coming near to me.I  don’t know its real or I'm dreaming.

Oh God!...no.  I cannot die...

I don’t know whether I reached the God-place or not.I can see my body just before the God-place.In the end of the last few stairs.I didn’t reach the God-place.I died without fulfilling her wish.

There was loud-silence when she looked in to my dejected eyes.She holded my cold hand.And took me near to the God.And said to pray.She came closer, while I was praying.

 And whispered in my left ear,“You kept your promise”.

Let Me live One More Life

I could see the drops of rains

Coalescing to form streak of water lines

Through the lanes of the bended roof plate

Some dropped on the edges of the bleak window panes

Near to my bed ,where i lay to wait and, wait to die once again

Minuscle water droplets sprinkled over my tired face

And made me feel like the goddess devoid of power

Thundering sounds no more fears me,

Days are same as nights, with darkness all around

But  nights are more pleasant

As it gives me a notion of my wait being over

But only till, I wake up to see another night once more

I know ,

I’m waiting to die but before I die,

I’m waiting to die in his arms

I wish to feel his very ardent lips with which he kissed me

I wish to feel the warmth in his breath which he had,

When we're drawn close to each other

I wish to feel the loquacious move of his fingers which he did

When he  unwrapped  the red apparel from my body

I wish to feel the passionate love that I had fathomed

When we’re making Love

I Know,

I’m waiting to die but before I die,

Let me live one more life.

Sudden feelings erupts through the oculus of dejected conscience

One through the twisted thoughts and other through the swirl of twist

My eyes-lids feels the pulse of swirl and opens in disdain

To imagine things that I can never see again

Life through eyes was a photography feat

Petals of Withered Rose

There is a sudden gap that i can't measure,

Interred with silence,makes it more silent

Silence often do talk but that too to fight

I fear to chose to utter words of love

As not to make it more worse

But not to make words of love shameless 

Ring on the ring finger slips out

I tried to fix but that too in vain

Days when  gaps could be measured

Life was a running spree,untrammeled & unperturbed

Time would flow past,joy seemed endless 

But now, in my loneliness, i turn the pages of my diary

To find the petals of very rose dried and dead

Fractions of petals  flew away,

Some sticked on the page
And some were in search of  the withered soul

I was wandering to search my own soul 
Through  the fragrance of the rose-petals

But  petals devoid of aroma, 
Got shatterd to embrace the dust,

As I turned the unturned pages of my diary.

My Mom

Lights were gone.Dark danced around the corner of the room.Air was denser.

”Sagar Kinare Dil ye Pukare…….”,My Mom was singing just near by me.

She had an artistic voice.Listening to her songs was like nourishing my inner skills.I just sat nearby her.I couldn’t stop myself ,I too started like a broken old tape player, “Sagar Kinaraaa dilla ya…yyy pokarrayy….”.

Mom bursted out in a laugh “hahaa hah ha ha a a a aa …”.”Aita tui ki Gachiss, Sona, erokam nai….”.She taught me some nuances of the music.I was then just four years old.

                                            After the school was over,I walked all alone back to my barren home.

At night when moonlight played with the gentle waves of the water in the well,I too tried to figure out the reasons behind everthing.

I got confused.The same headache again took my nerves down.

Cool breeze blowing from the west ,gave a mixed notion as it flew over my face.

Headache was gone.

I saw  a leaf floating inside the well,with only a portion wet and the other  enjoying the subtle flow of breeze.

It seemed like abandoned boat without ferry man.

When the leaf deflected and made an incomplete turn,it seemed like breeze was trying to build  a figure of heart.

Before it could, the breeze slowed and moon was no more visible.

Clouds had taken chance to enjoy the moon bath.

Moon was again visible,but leaf was no more making turn and was floating unconsciously.

I knew ,she loved me from her heart.But her heart was missing.

                     I never could figure out the reasons ,why dad abandoned Mom.

I can remember the day,it was like a worst nightmare to me.

My mom was separated from me ,without my consent.Whatever may be the reasons my dad was holding in his mind.
I  Know that she never could do anything that could separate her from me.

“Dada(shouting) Kathai tumi….Baba khete dakchhee….”.
Out of the blue ,my step-sister landed out in the garden.She was searching for me.
She saw me loking down the well. 
“Dada kuwaa(well) tey tumi ki dekhchoo, kichu baloo chhij achhey ki,ami ami dekhboo”,my little six years old sister demanded out in excitement.

“Kichuu nai , khetey chaloo…………….Baba dakcheey………”.